This article arguesthat language, interaction and culture cannot be reduced to literal performance – the ‘there’ in an interaction. Instead, language in interaction should also be understood in relation to what is barred from performance, what is not or cannot be performed – the not-there, or, rather, the unsaid traces, the absent presences, that structure the said and the done. If this is accepted, the question becomes: how can we engage with those processes, both theoretically and empirically? Drawing on work (...) presented in the book Language and Sexuality, as well as research concerned with performativity, desire, and mimesis, this article presents a brief overview of the kinds of questions that appear when we turn our attention to what tends to get left out, both in specific linguistic interactions, and in our models of language. (shrink)