Studies of collegiate sexuality have not examined infidelity. Using in-depth peer interviews with college students, our article investigates the meanings and practices of “monogamy” and “cheating” for college women. College women use ideas about age, class, and gender to construct collegiate sexuality as a kind of “monogamy lite” exempt from the “rules” of adult sexuality. Many have cheated themselves. Simultaneously, they define “real” relationships as exclusive and condemn “cheaters” as bad people. We employ an intersectional analysis to analyze these discrepancies, (...) arguing that the multiple meanings women use reconcile contradictions between expectations for women’s sexuality and expectations about collegiate behavior, allowing women to sustain a commitment to relationships while also participating in collegiate sexual culture. Moreover, by providing a socially legible, gender-appropriate way to end unwanted relationships, these meanings allow women to use cheating to solve dilemmas in their intimate lives. In this case, college women use middle-class ideas about the transition to adulthood to resist gendered imperatives. (shrink)

Condom use among college men in the United States is notoriously erratic, yet we know little about these men’s approaches to other contraceptives. In this paper, accounts from 44 men attending a university in the western United States reveal men’s reliance on culturally situated ideas about gender, social class, race, and age in assessing the risk of pregnancy and STI acquisition in sexual encounters with women. Men reason that race- and class-privileged college women are STI-free, responsible for contraception, and will (...) pursue abortion services if necessary. Since men expect women will take responsibility, they often stay silent about condoms and other contraceptives in sexual encounters—a process we term “strategic silence.” Men’s strategic silence helps uphold local constructions of hegemonic masculinity that prioritize men’s sexual desires and protects these constructions by subtly shifting contraceptive and sexual health responsibility onto women. Our analysis demonstrates the importance of men’s expectations of women for upholding constructions of hegemonic masculinity, which legitimate gender inequality in intimacy and are related to men’s underestimation of the risks associated with condom-free sex. (shrink)

While young people today expect gender equity in relationships, inequality persists. In this article, we use interviews with 25 young adults to investigate the link between gender meanings, age meanings, and continued inequality in relationships. Middle-class young adults tell relationship stories in a gender and age context that both reflect and perpetuate ideas about adult masculinity and femininity. While women often tell stories of poor treatment in relationships, they are able to reclaim agency over their experiences and believe that they (...) can solve their relationship problems by understanding their experiences as part of the normative path to adult womanhood. In contrast, men are able to explain their bad relationship behavior by attributing that behavior to youth and immaturity. By telling these stories, both women and men imagine that growing up will fix gender inequalities, obfuscating the persistence of gender inequalities in later adulthood. This work sheds light on the way narratives of age contribute to the persistence of gender inequality in romantic relationships. (shrink)