Abstract

The longing for an enduring intimate relationship and the longing for sex are connected, but not unproblematically. Throughout this century, a `sexualization of love' and an `eroticization of sex' have continued, but only since the Sexual Revolution the traditional lustbalance of a lust dominated sexuality for men and a complementary (romantic) love- or relationship-dominated sexuality for women has come under attack. The article describes and interprets these developments, focusing on the (difficulties accompanying) relational and psychical processes. It argues, for example, that the emancipation of women and their sexuality (complement of the accommodation of men and their sexuality) has intensified both erotic and sexual awareness as well as both types of longings. The article is divided into two longer sections. The first is subdivided according to the four phases that are distinguished. The second attempts to interpret and explain these changes by presenting them as regularities in all processes of integration and civilization.