Abstract

I come to realize that music that denigrates women is ubiquitous and continuous, and cannot be avoided completely. And yet I wouldn't want to stop listening to Gregorian chant, to Mozart, to Wagner. One reason I continue to listen is that I love the music so much. But I also continue to listen because I want to make conscious what the music has been whispering to me, I want to expose the music's hidden implications to light and air. (And in wanting to shed light I do not mean to demean darkness; . . . But when darkness is used against us, we must confront, enter, and reclaim it.) Though I still love music that denigrates women, though I am still inclined to dance to misogynist music of popular culture, I hope to heal my fractured self, this self that loves music that hurts me, and to dance to the music of women, music that will help me feel good about my body and my emotions, and to dance like a Maenad, like a Bacchante (pp. 178-179).